!*&^%$(@Q^!(^!!! Is basically how I felt until I spoke to Bek. The stupid freakin bank said the loan was approved, which meant I pretty much could have moved in on Monday. BUT NO! IT'S NOT APPROVED, THEY WANT MORE FUCKING PAPER WORK!! And of course it takes fucking forever for them to do anything because they never work, god forbid they would have to lift a finger to earn their stupidly high salaries. I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS MUCH LONGER. I've been in a hotel for 6 weeks, living of fast food because I'm way too poor to fork out for half-decent food which is hard to find anyway, god I feel like crap, tired and ew and I've put on weight. It's getting cold and all my warm stuff is in storage than I can't get to until I have a flippin house. My room gets invaded everyday which I hate and my room is a mess because I don't have anywhere to properly put stuff away and I have to keep changing rooms anyway. My hay-fever and insomnia meds are in storage and I can't afford to buy more when I still have some.
I can't even look for work until I get into my house, not having an address and living on the opposite side of Launnie than I will be anyway.
On top of uni, where no matter how hard I try I can't get above 63% in my subjects. being smart was all I had, all I was proud of, my depression totally destroyed me and I can't repair it. I'm trying so fucking hard, but it's not working!

rawr.

Okay, so I’m back. I know you all missed me terribly.

Started a new ‘workout’ regime where I watch Glee dances over and over and learn them. It sounds lame, but hear me out; it’s super fun so I actually want to do it. It’s a full body workout so I lose weight and tone all in one, it’s kind of a confidence boost and it’s cheaper than a gym. Lol I’m buying Glee anyway, so now I have 2 uses for it, haha.

Last night I did two hours (‘slave 4 u’ is blood hard! It’s so fast, but dammit I did okay!) lol I only stopped because my legs were giving out.

So the loan for zee house has been 100% approved, so theoretically I should know very very soon when I can move in. When I do, I am going to make the biggest, freshest and crispiest salad and cry with euphoria while I eat it. I feel sooooo bad eating the way I have been, just tired and cranky and ew :/

Two weeks until Easter break. Unless I’m in my house I have no plans, if I am in my house I shall be decorating and shopping, haha.

Ok, so, I AM REALLY FUCKING SICK OF YOU RUINING MY NIGHT! I felt good, I looked good, I was working on my self esteem issues. And you showed up, instantly Nikki was annoyed and I was a third wheel. The whole night becomes one revolving around arguments because Nikki is terrified and hates you for what you did but still 'loves' you for some sick reason. It pisses me off so much I have new scars. FUCK YOU.

Randomly delete me off faebook but send me a 'Valentines' email preaching God at me? I lol'd.

Songs I sang in my head at work today:

The Spongebob theme song
I will Survive.
The song from the Simpson/Glee episode.

The awkward moment where your friend forgets about you and they know you know.

Spent my night throwing up from stress. It was Koby. Earlier in the day I burst into tears from him screaming at me. I was looking at holidays for when I go back to Tassie, but it occured to me I need the holiday now. When I go back it will probably be fine coz it will be just me again.