Gosh, that's a lot of rain.

Gosh, that's a lot of rain.

I'm gonna be blunt. I miss sex.

I fucking hate formal season, I never got one. Not in grade 10 or 12. It's my biggest regret so far in life. So you know, doing pretty well really. But every fucking year I have to have it shoved in my face for weeks, months even.

I have worked my ass off this last week, yoga pilates and cross trainer. Then that time of the month rolls around I keep devouring everything in sight. I shouldn't have made cupcakes.

I just looked up my ideal weight for being healthy and all. I'm supposed to lose 17 kilograms (about 35 pounds). HOLY HELL. Ok, I don't like my weight, but I don't even think I'm all that big. I mean, I want to lose weight to be healthy, not necessarily for looks, but damn.

This was posted by JessTheMess on teenhelp.org in the Self Expression forum, I absolutely love it and wanted to share it with y'all.

What will we do tonight
The moon is out, the stars are up
Shining about as much as our love

What will we do tonight
Will we stand up and fight
For what what we believe

What will we do tonight
Make love by the shore, yeah we might
Under the moonlight, it's peaceful and calm

What will we do tonight
We're young, strong and in love
What will we do tonight? Whatever we want? Damn right

Poison envy, wraps around my soul,

The spines tearing me from the inside out.

Venom runs through my veins.



The world a haze of shadows,

Hatred haunts my every thought.

Craving to tear apart your world

and everything you hold dear.

I need to destroy your self esteem and

destroy your smile.



Screaming at life and chance,

how are you so fulfilled

while I am but a broken shell

filled with only hate, anger, envy and sadness?



Why are you so pretty, so desired

while I attract only sneers and disgust?

Where do you get your confidence,

it feels as though you drained it from me.



I bite my venomous tongue,

hide my scorching gaze,

keep gentle my killing touch,

and die a little more with your every appearance.

A touch. A kiss. A smile.

A rapid heartbeat.

The triumph of finding you.



A contented sigh.

A happy tear.

Disbelief at your desire.



Fade into darkness.

Fighting the tide.

The need to stay.



The realisation.

The shattering hopes.

Return to the waking world.

I never want kids. Never. Never. Never. I feel so sorry for Nikki, I do. But I have never wanted and it feels like I'm the bad guy for stuggling with Koby. He hates me and won't cooperate, I've tried. Tried to play with him, offered to take him to the park, gave him a freddo. But he hits me, throws stuff at me, spits at me and yells at me.