"Only the good die young" is a song that I feel epitomises Casey.
She's not coming to the halloween party tonight, why does that not fricken surprise me? She has a headache, big fucking shock.
She's afraid to live. It's only a party, but knowing who is going to be there, it's going to be the source of some great memories. It's an opportunity, it's a life experience. She's never been to a party remotely as good as tonight is going to be. It shits me, she misses so many opportunities. I think her headaches are psychological. She'll never quite grow up as much as others if she continues to avoid life.

Your zodiac sign and if you think it suits you.

Ok, the definition of Taurus that I usually read says you like the best of the best, fine food and clothes and what not. Which is ridiculous. Give me a cheeseburger and I'm happy. But the definition I have just found appears to describe me a lot better.

• If you were to describe the typical Taurus temperament, you would probably use words such as ‘cautious’, ‘practical’ and ‘purposeful’. One word you definitely wouldn’t use is ‘impulsive’. When you are making important decisions in life, decisions about things that are vital to your security and the welfare of those you love, you spend a long time on them. You want those decisions to be rock solid.
  

Every now and them I make impulsive decisions, but yes I suppose for the most part this is true.

• Once your mind is made up, you have amazing persistence and follow through, plus tons of energy — you rarely give up on a task once you’ve decided on it. And you’ll stick to your guns, even if you’re being provoked, tempted or ridiculed. This will be a blessing at some times and a curse at others.
  

Ohhh so wrong. I so rarely finish what I started.

• Those who love you and offer you constructive criticism don’t mean to hurt you — they have your best interests at heart — and what they offer can be useful to you. Try to remember that.
  

Constructive critism is listened to, but generally scars me mentally.

• If you look inside yourself, you’ll see that sometimes the reason you hold on to your position or opinion so fiercely is that you fear change.
  Because you take such pride in your ability to see things through to the end, people who try to meddle with what you have set out to do, or change the rules of the game, are likely to hear from you, loud and clear. You really, really want to finish what you start.
  Also, people will not have much success if they try to push something onto you and leave you no room to control your destiny. Then the bull in you really starts to make itself heard and felt.
  

Well, it's true if you push me to do something I am really not going to do it, I refuse to do anything on someone else's say-so. But, as I do finish very little I set out to do, comment on it and I shall be very angry with you.

• On the other side of the coin, you also like to take it easy. This goes back to liking to leave things as they are. You may need to keep an eye on this — complacency and apathy are down the end of that path.
  Change is the only constant in life and you may need to remind yourself of this every now and then; trying to resist all change leads only to stress and dissatisfaction with your life and relationships.
  

I like change. Only because life is shit, so I figure if it changes there's a chance it will get a tiny bit better.

• You also have a great love affair with the finer things in life. If you could find a servant to help with all the boring jobs you hate, you could live the luxurious life you dream of!
  

Yeah, see, no.

• You are a great mate. When you agree to help someone, you go to any lengths to keep your word. You’ll never let yourself or others down. You are extremely dependable.
  

I like to think so. I try to be.

• You’re also exceptionally sensitive and very patient. You’re prepared to wait as long as it takes for the right moment to act and you seize the opportunity when it wanders anywhere near you. Patience is one of your greatest virtues and it usually pays off.
  

I don't know if I am all that patient. I can be sensitive to comments others make about me, though I act on how it's affected me, it's only lately that I have admitted this.

• Actually, simplicity is what appeals to you — you can’t stand pompousness and look-at-me behaviour. You know that beauty is not about what you wear or what hairstyle you have.
  

Here we go, this is right. Don't flout your shallow pride at me, biatch. Lol.

• You enjoy getting your hands dirty with gardening, practical hobbies and odd jobs around the home. Hard work doesn’t scare you in the least.
  

:)

• Taurus is a touchy-feely sign, which means you rely on your feelings rather than your mind when you try to understand your experiences.
  

Hm. I analyse how I feel about things somewhat, so I suppose this is half true.

• You trust your own intuition about others — and you are usually right. However, you have terrific reasoning skills as well, so don’t dismiss your sensible nature; balancing these two sides of yourself will increase your success in life.
  

I don't, but I should. My first feelings about people tend to be kind of correct, but I ignore them because I don't like to judge, and later regret this, ususally.

• If you are a Taurean born between 20 April and 29 April you are under the double influence of Venus. You are sensual, loving and destined to be lucky in love. Try to curb your appetite to have the biggest and best of everything however. Learning the art of contentment is one of your main life lessons.

Ah yes. This last line is very true, I find it very difficult to be happy with myself. I always want to do more. Not want more, do more.
Also, fail on the love part. I don't believe in love, I am epic jaded in the whole love thing.

Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.

1. The next blogger topic on the list is actually "A time when you thought about ending your own life," but that's way too negative for me at the moment, haha.
2. I have a Stiggy Bank, a Stig Egg cup, 2 Stig mugs, a Stif pen, a Top Gear diary and calender, and a couple of shirts. This isn't that interesting, but meh,
3. The night before that time of the month I get uber paranoid, like, 5 year-old-holy-crap-there's-something-in-my-bedroom-about-to-kill-me paranoid.
4. I am an athiest.
5. I am a Gleek.
6. I want to build several classic muscle cars from the ground up, but know very little about mechanics.
7. My Laptop's name is Bobby, my USB is Ash, my mp3 players are Sammy and Dean. My imaginary '67 Chevy Impala is John.
8. I just realised I haven't named my phone. Castiel is now his name.
9. I am currently reading "The Face" by Dean Koontz.
10. Today, Casey gets back, everytime I think I hear a car I run out to look out the window. Which means, I've been doing that about every 5 minutes.
11. I am allergic to vegetables. No one ever believes me. It's highly annoying and the one thing guaranteed to piss me off. You know, it's a stupid thing to lie about. I'm not allergic to fruit, I will freely admit I don't like most of them.
12. I really want to move back to Queensland, but at least down here I feel like I have made some kind of progress in my life.
13. The inside of my lip is permanently split since I bit it stupidly hard with my stupidly crooked teeth.
14. I am such a blogger stalker.
15. I am now half-way through this list.
16. This year, for Halloween, I am going to Jenna's party as Simi the Charonte demon.
17. If I ever build John, I am going to live in him on the road for at least 6 months. Hopefully longer. It's a life goal. Unfortunately, this is in the states, so I am not sure how I am going to achieve it.
18. Sometimes, this is the life that feels like a dream, and the stories I make up in my head the ones I really live. Which is probably why I don't get very far in life.
19. I really miss working at Best and Less.
20. I believe humans are really serial monogamists, and we are not, in fact, one of the incredibly few species on Earth that mates for life. Break-ups are a beginning, not a failure. You can 'love' more than one person just as much over the course of your life. I believe what blinds us to this, and that we believe if your longest life relationship ends that we have failed epically, is the marriage constitution. It is a something exclusive to humans, and in our romatic silliness, we forget that while it's possible we will spend our lives with one person, at the very end, I doubt you will love them as much asyou once did. That there is someone else you may have crossed paths with in life that was to be the second great love (and so on), and that ignoring this possiblity you miss out on some wonderful oppotunities.
21. As much as I believe in this, I don't yet believe in love. At all. Hopefully, one day someone gives me a reason to, but I think this is more likely not to happen than it is likely to happen.
22. When I was younger, I was a total cheapskate, didn't really spend much money. I didn't notice until my sister made an off the cuff comment about it, and I think this is why i over-spend now.
23. I don't know about others, but it's these kind of comments that tend to mark me the most in my life. I have no idea why. I guess because they hold the most truth.
24. In this reality, I hope that my first car is a 4 wheel drive of some sort. I feel very small and confined in sedans, and find it hard to see and judge distances. I think I would be a better driver in a 4 wheel drive. Even a little one, like a Nissan Dualis or something.
25. I will have Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas as my funeral song. I want to be buried. Actually, I want a big fancy tomb. Lol.
26. I have already written my will. I recently re-wrote it, since my old one was from before I was 18. I just have to get around to legalising it. No matter how hard I try, I struggle to write it without it being from the perspective that my death is a suicide.
27. I am hungry.
28. I can't see the word 'house' without thinking "Who's house?? Run's house!". Usually I also sing it out loud.
29. My water squirty has stopped working and I can't work out why.
30. Everytime I hear the word 'Melbourne' I say out loud "Fuck you, Melbourne!", whether I am alone or not.

I found this on a tumblr. Since I am not yet on that bandwagon and not sure I ever will be, I am posting it here. It was made by the guy who's name is at the bottom of it. Or girl, I don't know...

Your views on religion.

Hmmm. How complicated. I'm an athiest myself. I suppose, religion in itself isn't bad. In the case of Quinn Fabray, it can be quite good for some people when going through hard times. It's human error and greed and evil that causes religion to become a tool for war and oppression and the justification for murder and destroying races.

Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Pretty much the same as my view on everything, if it doesn't hurt others, then go for it. Which means, drugs bad. I believe you have a responsibility to your fellow man to not do drugs. It fuels the drug trade, causes death and illness, homelessness, robbery, etc.

Alcohol, I think if you know you are a violent or abusive drunk then you shouldn't drink, and don't force others to drink if they don't want to.

I now pretty much drink around friends that drink, and don't around, well, Casey. I'm over it, I'm not a big fan of how it makes me feel. The sick feeling, not the giddy funny feeling, haha. But going back up to Queensland, I can tell I'm gonna have some messy nights, haha.

Where you'd like to be in 10 years.

I've actually been thinking about this lately. Well, mostly about showing up at my 10 year high school reunion (which I organised, because I have had an uber successful events organising business) in jeans and a t-shirt being all broody and stand off-ish and the hottest thing there. I haven't decided if my family will be with me, I live in the states you see, and my kids young so I don't think I want to subject them to the plane flight. But I don't want to just leave them with my new brother (found out I was adopted), so I come alone. Or I just hire a private jet so the kids aren't so cooped up for 12 hours. But I don't like that, a private jet? Gosh how over the top, how conceited, how flashy. Nah, don't like that.

Anyway, then in comes the suicide bomber, coz people in my highschool? I really wouldn't be surprised if someone did show up with shrapnel bombs strapped to themselves, still pissed off ten years later at the people in our grade. Sometimes, I think that person will be me. But, in my fantasy, it's not, because if I die then the story has to end, and I like daydreaming too much. So I'm kind of torn between just leaving and letting them all die, but instead I talk to this person, slowly walk towards them, then bam! Grab them, kick their knee in, and put them down. I handcuff them with the cuff I have clipped to my boots and with my little knife in my other boot, keen eyes and explosive knowlege, cut the wire running from the timer to the explosives itself.
You see, I have violent life, so I always have a weapon on me. And I have cuffs, coz if I can restrain or knock unconscious instead of kill, I will.
So yeah, then I'm awesome. And someone (a little later, after the cops deal with this and whatever) gets on stage and calls me up to thank me, and I get up there, and with the most evil and outraged look on my face, I tell them all that I should have let them die, that they are bastards and the fact that someone was still angry enough to want to kill them after 10 years should make them realise how horrible they are.

Oh by the way, coz I am so awesome, the only reason I have kids is because my awesome partner wants them. I find out this fear I have of being pregnant is a legitimate phobia (which I wouldn't be surprised if it was) but I go through 9 months of being terrified and trying to, essentially, get away from my own body, locked up in my bedroom. Coz I am deeply in like with this guy and want to make him happy, haha.

But then he cheats on me and I leave the kids with him and go to New Orleans with my friend who is as badass and violent as me and go clubbing.

Also, I designed my own house. It's awesome. It's all dark wood and reds and on your left when you walk in the wall is painted like "desert at night" theme with sillhouettes of giraffes and big bare trees. The doors to the 2 downstairs bedrooms are there too, but you can't see them. No handles, and no real door frame, they blend in, but I know where they are, haha.

There is also a piano in the far left corner, coz I can play :)

Soooo....beyond this fantasy, I have no real plans. All my 'plans' for my life are pretty much like this. Impossible, hopeless, silly, etc.

Your current relationship. If single, discuss how single life is.

Well, there's pros and cons to both sides, I suppose. I don't really know, single life in itself is not bad. These past 3 weeks, I have been alone, like, completely, not just single. Just kicking around, studying, cleaning, reading, watching dvds, going for walks. I like it. I have realised I love that I don't need anyone or anything. Except my books, I need those.

I see people around me in relationships, and it's been nice because lately things have been going well for all of them. Not long ago all I would have heard was how horrible it was. I found it hard to sympathise.

I guess, a relationship is a committment, right? I don't do committment. That makes things in general feel too permanent for me. If I had more money at my disposal, or an inclination to gain it with criminal activities, or just a car, I'd be flitting around quite a bit, much to my father's dismay, no doubt. But I couldn't do that, decided to go somewhere and just leave....

Actually, since I don't flit so much, that's a moot point.

Ok, single life is all well and good, but being single? Not so much. It would be nice to know I'm not worthless, useless, a waste of space and precious resources, that I meant something in someone's life. I mean, I don't need validation, but I like me, I like me a lot, but since no one else does, I feel like kind of a freak. I guess a relationship would make me feel slightly less out of the proverbial global loop.

I'm going to be a teacher. It's going to take 5 years at university, but I will be specialising in Philosophy and English.

I will be able to travel with it.

Mostly, I want to be a teacher that listens to her students. Because really, how flippin infuriating is it when they don't see you as people? Or not smart enough to have anything important to say? Or not old enough to feel seriously depressed?

I want them to tell me the best way to teach them, how they learn best, etc.

I want to teach that one class that you hate just a little less.



That sounds like great motivation, right? I mean, it's genuinely how I feel, but really, I don't think I will do any good.



You know what I want to be? A SWAT officer. A vigilante. A NAVY SEAL.

Haha. But I can't imagine ever being that fit. I mean, I've been part of a gym, gotten up at 5am and been at the doors before the place was even open. I worked hard, man. I am also uber un-co. I just didn't seem to get anywhere. I would love a life spent with my muscles burning, fast thinking a survival essential, never a minute without some kind of injury sustained in the line of duty. Guns hidden around my house, a knife under my pillow, sleeping in clothes and combat boots. I like the idea of a whip hidden in the back of my jacket, handle waiting for my hand. The end will be tipped with blades, of course. Haha.



I blame Matthew Reilly books. Scarecrow is awesome, I'm pretty jealous of his life. Haha.



But, that's all epic silly. So I am going to be a teacher. My life will be teaching students who don't care, who hate each other for shallow reasons, marking paper after paper at night, total routine in general. Ew.

Oh my god. 2 weeks from tomorrow! I can't wait. I cry with happiness and anticipation so often these days. It's home. I didn't appreciate it at all. But I mean today I was just thinking I wish I could go to Morayfield. The Friday I get there Nikki and I are going shopping there! I'm flippin excited. It might sound silly, but it's the shopping centre I grew up going to, and there was something about going up the escalators and turning right and going straight to K-Mart. I never realised how much that tiny bit of routine meant. Haha.
Those kids I teach better appreciate me, dammit.

Nothing like a wave of depression setting in while you're trying to study.

Sociology exam tomorrow. Grr. Exams on a Saturday? And at 9? I have to get up at 7 :( Well it's not that bad.

I guess I should have twigged I was going down hill when trying to figure out what to wear tomorrow and not liking any of my options. I know it sounds weird, but yeah...

I get to go to Wiggle Bay at WhiteWaterWorld with Nikki and Koby when I get back to Queensland :) Yay, coz I so didn't wanna wait that long to see Koby, haha. Now I only have to wait a day after I get back :)

Upon being a creeper and looking at randoms' photos of their last year at highschool - I now get it. A) Their grade was tiny, our was flippin huge, I sure didn't know half the people in it. And B) they had free dress days, and gender swap days, etc. They were allowed to have fun! It's an important step towards comraderie among a grade, those fun and free days.
It makes sense, when I compare high school to my primary school days. Those were the differences.

I miss having friends. Plural. All near me. I feel so alone.

My god. I nearly killed myself in high school. Literally. I fucking hated it. I am still filled with blinding rage and agony when I think of it. And here's these kids that have graduated today and are all upset and posting their thanks to their classmates for an awesome few years and taking photos etc. Well, I'm happy for them, I am. It's one reason I want to be a teacher, to try and do something for students, attempt to make something a little better for them.

Before, I thought all highschools were as bad as mine, that everyone had a horrible time. It just hurts even more now to know it could have been avoided.

OH MY GOD, IM SO ANGRY.

So, Candice made this comment about Casey's getting baptised:
"Yeah, my baptism was great! Just remember that Satan will not like it AT ALL, and be prepared for attacks"

I said "Dammit, Candice, now we need a new plan of attack!" haha being funny, - is that at all offensive? Seriously, considering Im not a satanist, I can't imagine how it is.

Candice says "You can graze our knees, but we will crush your skull"
I dont know what that means, but I said "Your knees are already grazed, what with the kneeling. I guess our work here is done then, haha *dusts off hands*" coz you know, you kneel to pray right? So, haha, still not offensive right?

Then those comments were suddenly gone, and it confused the fuck out of me, coz I seriously had no idea if I had imagined the whole thing or not, what with my mental instability. Anyway, you should see this massive message Deb just sent me, fucking bitch, saying I need to "respect Casey's beliefs" and shit, I was like dude! DONT talk to me about needing to tolerate others beliefs, I was a fucking Pagan, I am fucking accepting of everyones religion!
And Casey makes jokes about the church just as much as I do, and she will admit it too.

I'M SO MAD

Every night I turn off my light then dive onto my bed from the opposite side of the room. The amount of times I've nearly missed or gone through my window still seems like a better alternative to the monster under my bed grabbing my ankles.

I wish beauty was like fish scales. You know that fish, that uber pretty glittery one? And all the other fish get jealous and then he shares his pretty scales around so all the little fishies get to be pretty? Yeah, I wish that could happen.

But then, I suppose we'd have a lot of people going around scaling pretty girls.

Actually, I still don't mind.

Gosh I am in an epic good mood - that's what Glee does to me, lol.
It still never fails to make me like songs I previously hated. I was so anti-madonna, but the Glee cast make her songs good, lol.

SIMPSONS EPISODE WITH CORY MONTIETH AND LEAH MICHELE! And Mercedes, I didn't know she was going to be on it, and I don't know her real name...

Listening to some new Glee songs - goddamn, I am loving Puck and Only the Good Die Young, haha.
Pretty sure these songs have put me in a good mood of epic proportions!

You know what I love? Present shopping. Today I got to buy for two birthdays and a wedding. And I started Christmas shopping. Gosh it was fun. Koby is going to be darn spoilt, I got him the cutest outfit and some pretty awesome marker type pen extender things, colouring books and pads and stuff. Ma is getting new pj's, pink shorts with cute green frogs and a green top to match. Thought she'd like the youthful theme.

Got her a new turquise top with lace on the sleeves and on the back neckline to go with the photo of us in a pretty frame for her birthday. It's not often I have photos with any of my family, but she was adament we took this one and she doesn't even have a copy.

Got a pretty black glass fram with a few silver cherry blossom flowers on it to go with the adorable baby clothes I got for Jess and Luke, they are getting married and having a baby girl, I so wish I could go to their wedding, but it's in Melbourne and I have uni exams :(

Got a present for Bek too - but I'm too paranoid to detail it here... haha

Also bought horns, black lipstick, fangs and a sexky gothic garter for Halloween :)

Now I am going to eat chips and chicken nuggets and watch movies :)

The word: Milwuakee
What I say in my head: "Milli-wall-kay". Thanks, Alice Cooper.

The word: Sean Bean
What I say in my head: Seen Been.

The word: Chicago
What I say in my head: Chick-ago. The dumbass daughter on Married with Children read it that way when she was a weather girl.

The word: Karate
What I say in my head: Ka-rart-aye, like King in Blade: Trinity.

The word: Wichita
What I say in my head: Wit-cheetah.

Every time.

I'm so bored.
AH! Red Right Hand is on this soundtrack! So one of my favourite songs. *doo, do do do, do do do, doo, doo* haha

See, when John C. Reilly isn't doing crap comedies, I like him in movies.

Hmm. Damn you viscious cirle of "I'm fat, so I'm depressed, so I am going to eat my feelings and watch dvd's and get fatter."

I designed the tattoos I want. I was going to get "Ma" and "Daddy" on each wrist, now they are accompanied by pictures that remind me of them, lol.

Whoa, the kid who plays Darren Shan looks a hell of a lot different outside of this movie. No wait, now he's joined the cirque officially he's found his cute side, lol.

*sigh* this blog is my way of holding off lonliness. It's not really woring.

Watching "The Vampire's Assistant". Willem Dafoe does not have an aversion to wearing make-up does he?

Lol, "Vampanese".

It's an odd movie, I like it so far.

Watching Repo Men, though it's really just the mainstream verstion of Repo! The Genetic Opera. Which is fine for me, when it comes to movies I like mainstream, haha. And it's Jude Law and Forest Whitaker, whom I love. And it began with Jude Law saying "What do I remember? I remember reading about a scientist. He had a thing with cats and boxes." Although the script proceeded to take the whole "alive and dead at the same time" thing a bit literally.

I watched Green Zone a before this too, fark the whole Iraq war shits me, and the reasons of how it came about. "Reasons" being used loosely. "Excuses" is a far better word.

Having a fat day, lol. Caught the bus to uni instead of walking. Had Hungry Jack's for lunch. Hired more dvd's and bought Smarties and cream buns.

Meh. I'm happy :) lol

Don't cut. Don't cut. Don't cut. Don't cut. Don't Cut. You're going to see your parents in just under a month. That is not enough time to heal, and it will be summer, you can't cover it up.

Although, no one ever seems to notice.

Shush! What would it do to your parents?

At least I'm likely to live.

One day you won't, you'll cut too deep.

That's ok.

To you maybe, but you've been such a horrible burden to your parents already, the least you could do is put up with this soul-destroying agony so they don't feel guilty.

Are you the Angel or the Devil on my shoulder?

I'm whatever I need to be to make sure you don't have to see that look of disappointment in their eyes.

I miss Stanley.

He only hurt you.

That was the point. He is there for me, no one else ever is.

Harden up.

I can't. Don't you see that I can't? I'm so tired.

Go to your happy place.

I don't have one.

Make one.

I've tried. It's depressing, because it's not real. None of it is. I'm a fat, miserable, hideous failure. I will never help people. I will never make anyone happy. That's all I want, but it won't happen. I just make people mad.

You haven't tried hard enough.

This isn't a soap opera. This isn't a musical. Life isn't that easy. Happiness and acceptance of self doesn't automatically come with the dysfunctional but loving comraderie you have with your crazy family or nerd friends. People don't stick together. Selfish people don't learn to love. There is nothing beautiful in war. Killers do go free. The fat, miserable, hideous failure does not find a Prince Charming. She doesn't even get a toad. Wishes don't come true. Some crazy coincidence doesn't create the opportunity for the perfect career. There is no purpose or order to life. We are atoms and molecules that happened to form humans and now we are living because we can. It's just killing time. Sure, we can try to make something out of this nothing we have, but ultimately most of us will die with little more than we were born with. I have no talent to exploit, no looks to strut down a runway, no savantism to benefit from, no money to spend to make more, no high school diploma to become something important, no coordination to become an expert in Krav Maga and become a vigilante. I am nothing. I always will be, I am not going to delude myself into thinking otherwise.

...

Just finished the Glee book. They didn't put in the creepy pedo gay Sandy thing in, actually for the whole book he was at a Doll Convention (lol). I suppose, that didn't really work with the rest of the plot.

Ergh. I need to change pills. Irratic as ever, and for some reason the pain was here this month, at least I haven't had that. But the worst part is that time of the month my anti-depressants don't work. So yeah, pretty much bursting into tears for no apparent reason on a regular basis today and for the next week or so. *sigh*

Was having a shit day, just feelin' sick n stuffs. But then I got home and found my books had been delivered. :) The Glee novel, Nick's Dark Hunter novel and the 5th Sign of the Zodiac are now neatly on my shelf. I've been dying for these books.

And the Glee novel came with a poster, with either Finn and Rachel or Finn and Quinn :) I'm happy, both sides having Finn and all...

More packing. :) Put some stuff in my suitcase that I don't need and don't want to pack into storage by accident because I do want to take them to QLD.

Bought scales today, thought I lost weight but I gained it :( But I was doing it by measurements before and it's possible some is muscle which is heavier. But then, my legs are just fat now because I stopped walking as much as I used - so I fixed that. Walk to and from uni now, that should help. So I have no idea. Lol.

Holy crap, I was just brushing my teeth and a hunk of tooth came out! I was totally freaking out, except from the front you can't tell, and when I looked at where it came from, I don't think it's really meant to be there anyway. It was between two other teeth and behind one...er yeah hard to explain. No other teeth are lose, I've been noticing this bit moving when I brush my teeth. But I am goin to start skulling milk or something I think.

I'm going to be Simi for Halloween! The Charonte demon from Sherrilyn Kenyon's Dark Hunter series. It's great, coz she's a goth chick with wings and horns. So I just have to buy the wings and horns, instead of spending a fortune on a whole costume. I'm gonna carry a BBQ sauce bottle around too, coz she eats everything (people, dogs, steak, whatever) and carries BBQ sauce with her, lol.

Gahh. So tired. I really need to start studying. I have so much other crap to do next week.

I can't wait to get my sewing machine! My dress is going to be uber pretty :) Tis all cut out, just need my machine!

Sooo the Commonwealth Games are on about 5 different channels. Including both channel 10 channels. Wasn't that what they made One HD for? Sport? It's annoying, I have to miss Glee dammit.

Then Casey gets all mad at us for caring and was like "think about the athletes" rah rah rah. They don't do it for us. If we bitched about question time being on tv no one would disagree with us and tell us to 'think of the politicians'. Also, the thing about it being on 5 channels is a tad annoying.

Goddamn that nerdy guy on Criminal Minds is sooooo creepy. Like, he should be the serial killer every episode.

I have to re-bleach my hair.

I packed my books today. Holy cow it feels weird, I do so love my books. I love just looking at them. Love having them around.

Watching The Island, it's high-larious. Lol.
But suddenly they were on a giant R on the side of a building and I have no idea how they got there because I was on failbook. Haha.

This is an excerpt from Born in Death by Nora Roberts.

She was a cop, a Homicide Lieutenant with eleven year on the job protecting and defending the hard, merciless streets of New York. There was little she hadn't seen, touched, smelled or waded through. Because people, to her mind, would always and could always find more inventive and despicable ways to kill their fellow man, she knew just what torments could be inflicted on the human body.
But bloody and brutal murder was nothing compared to giving birth.
How all those women with their bodies enormous and weirdly deformed by the entity gestating inside them could be so cheerful, so freaking placid about what was happening - and going to happen - to them was beyond her scope.
But there was Mavis Freestone, her oldest friend, with her little pixie body engulfed by the bulge of belly, beaming like a mental defective while images of live birth played out on the screen.
...Maybe pregnancy stopped certain signals from getting to the brain.
...She'd rather study a crime scene recording - mass murder, mutilation, severed limbs - than look up at some laboring woman's crotch and watch a head pop out.


I actually think pregnancy is much worse than this.

So Casey is whining that she put on 5 kilos. If memory serves me right that means she is still 15 kilos lighter than me.

But I like food, so whatever. Haha.

Final Assignment for the year in.

Dvds; rented.

Chocolate; bought.

Books; ready to read.

Spring; finally warm!

WIN.

This amuses me. And gives me hope. I voted for Shia. :) Lol.

So you know how we all have that movie that no matter how long between watching it you can still quote it word-for-word? Turns out mine is the Labyrinth, lol.