Once upon a time I would have said, I may have insomnia but at least I get to have lots of dreams (that I remember). Er, that sounds odd - I mean it takes me forever to get to sleep, no matter how exhausted I am, then I get tiny snatches of sleep that never turn into deep sleep so I never get past the light stages where you dream. I wake up every 20 minutes or so and remember some dreams I had.
They used to be nothing but nightmares, I couldn't remember a single time I had just a nice dream. That changed sometime this year, not sure when, I had great dreams. Then I went back to nightmares. Now it's really neither. Every night for the last 2 weeks or so I have dreams, then I wake up, but I am actually still dreaming, and I talk about the dream-dream I had. And that dream-dream is without fail always about how lonely I am. I find someone, then they disappear and I am left all by my little lonesome in the dark. Or it's a search, just me wandering around looking for someone. I know subconscious, I know.
Dreams used to be an escape for me, I looked foward to them. Now I am doomed to suffer this incredible loneliness in all states of consciousness.
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