I can't do this. It's just not going to work. Another 50 odd years of this? Meaningless days. I have nothing to look foward to. I get up. Go to uni. That's it. I attempt to sleep. I wait for uni to roll around again on weekends because I am cooped up all day.
No one cares. I am alone. It's just me. I'm barely even here myself. I was just seriously considering munchausens. I thought I could down some cleaner right before a uni class. Someone might care when I start coughing up blood in a lecture. Of course, they might only care enough to tell me to die quietly.
I crave violence. I scare myself with it. People care when you do bad things. Attack people. Kill people. They pay attention then.
I won't be surprised if I snap one day.