She's mad at me now. She thinks I intentionally guilt trip her. I'm sorry my life-long depression I barely have a hold in is such an inconvenience to you. Of course I don't do it on purpose. Darling, I have accept my depression, I am almost proud of it since it had made me less ignorant and more insightful and understand and stronger. But it tears me apart when it manifests itself in such a way that it hurts those around me. I can't stop it. I have managed to recognise the signs and I try to silence it, but I don't know it's coming.
She is all like "if you have problems go somewhere else". If only she knew how much I don't take to her. If only she knew the reason I am thinking of moving out and leaving her behind is to protect her. I love her to pieces and I will miss her so much, but my depression hurts people. I have realised I have to live my life alone. I am going to have to become that angry and stand-offish and cruel girl I was in high school to keep people away from me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment